So last night, I decide to do something extraordinary. Something miraculous. Something that could undoubtedly be labeled as a clear sign of the return of Christ. Wars and rumors of wars and famines and this: I decided to go to bed early.

This was not just a spontaneous decision of mine, however. I had thought about it long and hard. I have been dealing with incredibly painful headaches all week and I'm pretty sure my allergies have taken over my body so I am now just the personification of pain. I did my homework ahead of time, and I was looking forward to throwing myself onto my bed and just sleeping.

It is around this time that I hear the most horrendous noise I have ever heard in my life. Someone starts playing the drums. I should point out that the time is midnight. (I usually go to bed around 2:00-ish, so yes, this is early for me) It is curfew. It is quiet time. WHO THE HECK IS PLAYING THE DRUMS AT MIDNIGHT?!

I resist the urge to stick my head out the window and scream for the drummer to shut up, because I figure either campus security will be called and they will be forced to put away those weapons with which they are torturing my ears. I assume the drumming will last five, ten minutes at most.

An hour later, the drums are still going. But now it is not only drums and cymbals. No, now someone is CROONING along. I cannot label this noise singing. There was no apparent melody and I didn't hear any words, but someone was just crooning along. Either someone was very drunk or demons were prowling Cedarville campus last night, singing the songs that they sing in taverns in hell (where I'm pretty sure they serve Beelzebub's sushi, Stacy).

So I'm trying to sleep and I can't, because of the random, loud drum beat and the monstrous crooner. If I so much as see a drum stick today, I may be forced to shove it up someone's nose.