I DID NOT FAIL MY FIRST SEMESTER AT CEDARVILLE!!!

I was not actually worried that I was failing. I was aware I was doing fairly well. But that competitive side of me was paranoid that I'd end up being the stupid girl of my dorm, and I kept having this reoccuring nightmare (seriously). Let me script it out for your reading pleasure.

The lights are dim as a stunningly beautiful young girl enters a lush office. She looks lost and confused, bundled up in a long mink coat.

Mysterious voice: Jessica. Glad you could make it.

The camera swivels around the office and, revealed to be sitting at a desk, is Dr Brown, president of Cedarville University.

Jessica: I got the telephone call. Is something wrong?

Dr Brown: Please, have a seat.

The Ukrainian beauty makes her way over to a dark oak chair and sits down across the desk from the president.

Jessica: Please, tell me. I've got to know! Why am I here?

Dr Brown: Jessica, I'm sorry to have to tell you this but...

Jessica: What?

Dr Brown: But...

Jessica: But what?!

Dr Brown: The results are back and you are the least intelligent student we've ever allowed into Cedarville University. Clearly, whoever allowed you into the school was just feeling pity for you.

Jessica: But I thought I was doing so well

Dr Brown: I have your report card right here.

Dr Brown slides a report card across the card. As Jessica slowly picks it up, suspenseful music begins to play and the camera begins moving toward the report card in her hand. As it focuses, we see six big F's written in red marker

Jessica: Noooooo!

Dr Brown: You are incredibly stupid and we're going to have to ask you to leave. We can't have your illness affecting our other brilliant students.

Jessica: I knew I should have listened to Pastor Eric and made my brain sweat!!!

Lights fade on scene

My subconscious is another matter, but I was really only consciously worried about failing politics, merely for the reason that I refuse to take that class again. So I was absolutely thrilled beyond all rhyme and reason when I got my grades yesterday and I had a beautiful, beautiful B listed next to American Politics. I got A's in my other classes, but I was not a fraction of excited about this as I was about that sole B. I have been thinking about this, and when taking into consideration my various exam scores, I have reached the conclusion that there are three possible reasons I got a B:

1) There was an error in the program that calculated my grade
2) I got 100% on my final exam (not likely)
3) I really do have a fairy godmother looking out for me

Out of these three possible scenarios, I think number three is the most likely. I like to think that her name is something pretty and uncommon, like Miranda, and that she has blonde hair, dimples, and gosammer wings. She brags about me to the other fairy godmothers, because their charges aren't as cool as me.

Well thank you, Miranda. Thank you.